20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Wife

Is today your wife’s birthday?

Want a funny and sarcastic way to say “Happy Birthday?”

You’ll LOVE these 20+ funny birthday wishes for wives – 100% one-of-a-kind – that will definitely get a laugh!

P.S. – Don’t forget to send some flowers!

20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Wife
Memes and Quotes

1. When you get married, they say that two become one. So… I got myself a gift today! Happy birthday!

2. Happy birthday! I was going to send you something funny about your age, but I don’t want to sleep on the couch tonight!

3. I was going to get you jewelry for your birthday, but decided instead to give you something we both will enjoy! Happy birthday!

4. Happy birthday! What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi!

5. Thanks for always being older than me! Happy birthday!

6. Happy birthday! My aim isn’t always great, but I was dead-on when I picked you!

7. Did you hear about the husband that left his wife because he didn’t like her coffee? It was “grounds” for divorce! Happy birthday!

8. Happy birthday! Our house may get a little messy, but you “sweep” me off my feet every day!

9. They say that finding your true love is one of life’s best gifts, so… you’re welcome! Happy birthday!

10. Happy birthday, honey! You’re cooking is incredible! (The “cr” is silent!)

11. How did the Italian wife tell her husband that he needed a bath? “Eureka!” Happy birthday!

12. Happy birthday! I asked the jeweler for diamond earrings for my wife. He told me “sorry, no trades!”

13. You and I make a great “pear!” I “cherry”-ish you! Happy birthday!

14. Happy birthday! For your gift, I’m throwing a big orgy for your birthday party! Everybody’s coming…

15. I’d tease you about your age, but I’m older than you! Happy birthday!

16. Happy birthday! Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff? “Tequila (to kill her)!”

17. You deserve a break today, so… I’ll make my own sandwich! Happy birthday!

18. Happy birthday to my favorite body builder!

19. I don’t want to make you angry, but I put a stick in the non-stick pan while working on your birthday dinner. Sorry! Happy birthday!

20. Happy birthday! They say “happy wife, happy life,” so I got you a joke book!